So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
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