how can u be prego again
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's rum buckets o'clock
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
