it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize