Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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