now i know why i became what i already was.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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