she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize