He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize