I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
