So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
