so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
