No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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