There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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