I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize