It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
