You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
