Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
