I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
