My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize