You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
