This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
ok first of all what the fuck
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize