I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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