I don't usually arrange sex via text message
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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