Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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