He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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