I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
