what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
did i walk over a car last night?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
