I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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