Some milfs here doing some blow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes