Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol