I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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