i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
