She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
