She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
