yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Damn victory sex feels great
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
