Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
