The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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