Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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