Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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