Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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