I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
