Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dicks are not precious.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
