I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize