I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We are two peas in an std pod
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sorry about my life...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
