either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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