It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
