After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
