I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
