This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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