I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize