in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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