yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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