so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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