I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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