is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
