I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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