My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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