can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
